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Poor Little Guys

May 10, 2010

It’s driving the Jeezo Right NUTS that President Obama has nominated Elena Kagan to be the next Supreme Court justice. According to bigots everywhere, the question of Kagan’s sexuality must be resolved in order to move forward with the process.

Why? Well, gays are clearly unfit to serve on the Supreme Court.

Why? Well, because they’re gay.

Peter LaBarbera of Americans for Truth About Homosexuality demands to know “are (or were) you a practicing homosexual?” Why is it any of Peter’s fucking business? He says it’s because, “a Justice Kagan would help decide some critically important constitutional issues dealing with: homosexual ‘marriage’ as a supposed civil right; religious liberty and freedom of conscience; and the First Amendment as applied to citizens’ right to oppose homosexuality.”

LaBarbera is joined in his witch hunt by Bryan Fischer of the American Family Association. Not to be outdone by LaBarbera, Fischer goes so far as to say that if Kagan won’t declare her sexuality, that is a “tacit admission of guilt.” Doesn’t “admission of guilt” sum up the homophobic stance perfectly? They think her sexuality is on trial.

Fischer bluntly declares that “no lesbian is qualified to sit on the Supreme Court.” His column doesn’t bother to explain why no lesbian is qualified to sit on the Supreme Court, but it does make this point:

Bill Clinton convinced an entire generation of America’s youth that oral sex isn’t really sex, and as a result we’ve seen an explosion among millenials in cancers of the throat and head caused by the HPV virus, which is spread through oral-genital contact.

This guy is so hellbent on lashing out against the left that he’s actually blaming the popularity of oral sex on a 12 year old deposition. It’s true that Bill Clinton was an insanely popular president, but I have a hunch that the popularity of blowjobs preceded his tenure. But what the living fuck does that have to do with conducting a witch hunt against Kagan? Is his implication that every detail about every public figure’s sex life must be vetted by the public?

I have it on good authority that Bryan Fishcher frequently enjoys frolicking with 16 year old shaved Panamanian boys in head-to-toe crotchless latex rhino costumes. As for LaBabera, he’s been caught holding more raw meat than a tweaked out butcher on Christmas.

There’s no reason to listen to a word from either of their mouths until they prove these allegations are false.

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