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Tina Harden Knows Better Than You

May 6, 2010

Tina Harden has some overdue library books. When her daughter checked out a few of the Gossip Girl series in 2008, Harden was disturbed by some of the content. The books refer to sex and drugs, and Harden decided that they were not appropriate for her daughter to read. A bit prudish, but fine.

What isn’t fine is that Harden has decided that no girls should read the books. To that end, she has refused to return them.

‘If I turn them in, they will be put back into circulation and they’ll be available for more young girls to read,’ said the mother of three, who keeps the four books hidden in a closet. ‘Some material is inappropriate for minors.’

Harden said she doesn’t want them banned, but she does want the library to put a warning label on the four titles — one in the Gossip Girl series by Cecily von Ziegesar, and three in a spin-off series called It Girl — and make them unavailable to minors. The library refused but has agreed to re-shelve them in the adult-reading section.

‘If we denied access to this particular title, it would be censoring,’ said Jane Peterson, the county’s library services manager.

That’s not good enough for Harden, who said that as a taxpayer she should have a say in which books land on the libraries’ shelves. ‘They’re supposed to be public servants,’ she said.

Harden has taken it upon herself to decide for everyone served by the local library what books should and should not be available. This is an unacceptable, tyrranical behavior. She has singlehandedly decided that her judgment is superior to that of all of her neighbors.

It is also a wanton abuse of public property.

Tina Harden is a stupid bitch.

The joke’s on her, though:

The libraries have multiple copies of the novels in the series. If her library privileges hadn’t been revoked, Harden said she would try to check them all out.

Wakka wakka.

11 Comments leave one →
  1. Barry permalink*
    May 7, 2010 6:02 am

    They sound ghastly, but that’s no excuse.

  2. jonathan permalink
    May 7, 2010 12:42 pm

    That is where we disagree. There is always an excuse.

    My excuse is that if somebody is going to corrupt the morals of teenage girls, I would rather it be me than some book packaging company.

    • Barry permalink*
      May 7, 2010 12:45 pm

      Ha! Comment of the year.

  3. jonathan permalink
    May 7, 2010 9:52 pm

    Thanks. You have to remember though that Americans don’t always think before they act:

    • Barry permalink*
      May 7, 2010 11:17 pm

      I’d like to think he had a particular itch to scratch, but he didn’t want to own up to it.

  4. jonathan permalink
    May 7, 2010 11:27 pm

    I dunno. Looks like he actually thought it was a sink and that the urinal cake was a bar of soap.

    • Barry permalink*
      May 7, 2010 11:29 pm

      Fuck, man. Doesn’t change the fact that this would-be book banning bitch is a moron vigilante.

  5. jonathan permalink
    May 8, 2010 2:13 am

    No Barry, you are wrong. Anything you or I could say on any subject is rendered meaningless by the fact that a guy accidentally washed his hands in a urinal.

    When an American in Germany washed his hands in a urinal, it was the stupidest thing a human being had done in the history of humanity. I envy the reporter who was there, because she, quite accidentally, witnessed the end of one epoch, and the beginning of another. We are now officially in the stupid age, and any occurrence which transpired before this amazing event, simply can not be discussed using the language we have at our disposal.

    That said, I think the library lady is pretty cool. Book packaging is so sleazy. Do you know what book packaging is? I hate it more than anything else I can think of. I hate it even more than I hate myself. Granted, the library lady probably doesn’t know what book packaging is either, but you know, the enemy of my enemy is my friend.

    • Barry permalink*
      May 8, 2010 8:38 am

      Do you mean the covers?

      Don’t hate yourself; you’re swell.

  6. jonathan permalink
    May 8, 2010 12:46 pm

    No. Book packaging is a practice in which a group of executives sit around a table and come up with a title for a book and write up an outline. Then they hire a writer and have him/her turn their outline into a novel.

    Often they hire kids in prep school or Ivy League colleges to turn their outlines into novels. In this case, the kid usually receives writing credit. Being a best selling novelist looks great on a kid’s resume.

    Other times they have a fictional author whose name they use for a given series and they just hire a ghost writer off craigslist and pay him $10,000 or $30,000.

    I hate book packaging. I hate it so much.

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