Bill Maher’s Message to Radical Muslims & A Note on the Need for Objective Comedy Rankings
Our culture is better, but if you don’t get that and you still want to kill someone over a stupid cartoon, please make it Garfield.
The whole tirade is about as funny as Bill Maher gets, which is pretty funny. Not quite Chris Rock-funny, but well beyond Gallagher-funny. I’d like an objective comedy scale. It would go something like this:
- Margaret Cho
- Colin Quinn (hosting Weekend Update)
- Dane Cook
- Robin Williams
- Dennis Leary
- (Every no-name comedian who you watch for 45 seconds to 5 minutes before changing the channel)
- Carrot Top
- Bobcat Goldthwait
- Artie Lange (standup)
- Earth Quake
- Zach Galifianakis
- Patton Oswalt
- Sarah Silverman
- Mitch Hedberg/Henny Youngman
- Bill Maher/Louis Black
- Artie Lange (on Stern)
- Robert Schimmel
- Jon Stewart
- Louis CK
- Rodney Dangerfield
- George Carlin
- Chris Rock
Unless noted, this list refers only to standup comedy. TV & Movie performances are not really in the mix. If you haven’t figured out that the list is in ascending order, it is. If you believe that the list is in descending order, you probably have a brain tumor. I have to move past Cho, Gallagher, Quinn, Cook & Williams before I even crack a smile. Honestly. Ian and I used to play a game during college. We’d watch Colin Quinn on SNL reruns and not laugh. That was the game.
Dennis Leary is good for about 8 seconds worth of chuckles. Any longer, and I just want to punch him all about the head, chest, and neck. Plus, Leary stole Bill Hicks’ jokes. Which brings me to another point: there are some comedians -Richard Pryor, Lenny Bruce, Sam Kinison and Hicks- who have great reputations and funny jokes, but I never got into their styles of delivery; I left them off the list because I couldn’t rate them fairly.
There is a large gulf between Carrot Top and Artie Lange. Bobcat Goldthwait was the only person I could think of at the time, but there should be 4 or 5 other guys in there.
Also, I had to Google “stand up comedy one liner overdose” to recollect Mitch Hedberg’s name.
Finally, Zach Galifianakis’ standup act has one of my favorite jokes of all time in it: My girlfriend looks a little like Charlize Theron. And a lot like Patrick Ewing.