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Christian Side Hug

December 10, 2009
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This is a really good song. It sends a great message for the kids to listen to. If you’re fed up with filthy “artists” like L. Cool J and Fifty Cents, you should maybe give this rap song a try. Da wurdz be up in he-uh.

All kidding aside, is this racist? The “we be this” and “we be that” plays like blackface comedy without the makeup.

Update: Look, these people are entitled to practice their abstinence kink. It’s a free country. However, I find the glib appropriation of urban violence to be a grotesque form of exploitation; like I said above, it comes off like blackface without the makeup. Gunshots and sirens? Really?

I am also puzzled by the repeated declaration “I’m a rough rider” in a song about avoiding sexual impurity by hugging people from the side. Actually, I don’t even know what “rough rider” means, but it sounds dirty. I will look it up.

I am back. And feeling smug.

Urban Dictionary defines a “rough rider” as:

1: A condom covered with spikes enhancing sexual experience for the female, sometimes pain
2: Someone who prefers dry anal or vaginal sex, or is extra rough with intercourse
3: A person who excels in sex, a good lay, a ride, a sex god.
4: The act of taking a shit facing the opposite way on the toilet with your arms resting on the tank, simulating riding a bucking bronco.
5: When one dips their dong in sand in order to create a more intense bang out.
6: A released prisoner on a public transportation bus that goes to jail or jail release facilities.
7: When you are doing a girl from behind and she rips a fart, forcing you to cover your nose with your shirt like a bandana (sic) and hold on to her hair so you don’t pass out.

Which one do you think they mean?

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9 Comments leave one →
  1. December 10, 2009 7:46 pm

    Raps make me cringe. Even the one with Dawkins and stuff couldn’t make me finish it.

    • Barry permalink*
      December 10, 2009 7:47 pm

      That’s why I provided the lyrics.

      • December 10, 2009 7:49 pm

        That’s why they make me cringe.

  2. Ted permalink
    December 10, 2009 11:54 pm

    How do they know Jesus’ hugging style? Is that in Matthew or something?

    • Barry permalink*
      December 11, 2009 12:02 am

      Well, Revelation says that Jesus has a sword sticking out of his mouth (seriously), so it stands to reason that he had to turn his head. From there, it’s a trivial step to conclude that…well wait a second. Jesus wasn’t Christian. Maybe he engaged in that filthy lambada the Jews are known for.

  3. David permalink
    December 11, 2009 10:36 am

    I think they mean this one:

    4: The act of taking a shit facing the opposite way on the toilet with your arms resting on the tank, simulating riding a bucking bronco.

    Reason being that their arms are all tired from the side-hugging. Need to rest them on the tank. It all checks out.

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