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According to the DSM IV, I Have Full-Blown Narcissism 2.0

December 5, 2009
by

Patient presents with the desire to blog about a dream for the second time. Rx: Genital Electroconvulsive Therapy.

The dream: I moved in with my friend Aaron for the third time, but he was away the day I moved in. He lived in a labrynthine apartment with 2 women. I really had to shit, but I didn’t know which bathroom to use, and the women were wisely hedging about their willingness to let me use their own toilets. One of the bathrooms had what looked like a 1/2 toilet, 1/2 bidet, but it was set into the countertop like a sink.

I woke up still convinced I had to poo, so I ran to the bathroom before realizing that it was only a dream.

I’m pretty convinced that the nut of the problem is my desire to make the move-in with Aaron permanent. Because I am gay. And so is he.*

* As far as I know, neither of the above outings reflect conditions in phenomenal reality. Also, it’s an Aaron who none of you have ever met. He’s a guy I met on vacation. In Niagra. You wouldn’t know him.

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2 Comments leave one →
  1. December 6, 2009 5:42 pm

    Let me interpret your dreams. Your first thoughts were right. You have an unending man-love with this Aaron character, and you want to sex him up. However, you want this event to be a foursome as evident with the 2 women in the apartment.

    Your thoughts on the toilet is also remarkable. You’ve realized that your life is currently in the dumps and that you really want to expel it out. However, you’re not really sure how to exactly do it. You want to get rid of your troubles, but you also want to completely erase it from your mind as evident in the appearance of the bidet. However, it’s difficult. It’s challenging to do that as the toilet is as high as a countertop.

    In essence, you’ve got some problems my friend.

    • Barry permalink*
      December 6, 2009 5:53 pm

      As Bob Dylan said, “Yeah, I dream. In my dream, I’m walkin through fire with intense heat. I don’t pay any attention to my dreams.”

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