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Why I Love The Onion and Hate Growing Pains

December 4, 2009

The Bible states that its believers will be scoffed at and mocked. For Christians, this reaffirms their belief; it is yet another prediction come true, another tool to separate themselves from the world of infidels.

I take this passage to be unusually perceptive: if you buy the garbage in the Good Book, you’re damn right I am going to laugh at you. Nothing magical about that.

Enter Kirk Cameron. He is an evolution denier. Rather than submitting his ego to the reality that we are extraordinarily lucky to have emerged by naturalistic processes from a universe that wishes us neither good nor ill, he insists that homo sapiens is the species made in the image of a loving God.

I mention Kirk’s ego for a particular reason; his belief that humans hold a divinely-sanctioned place of privilege is bad enough, but in order to maintain this chauvinistic position, Cameron must characterize the entire field of biology as bullshit. A man whose credentials are “was a child star” and “has read the Bible” believes that he knows enough about a field in which he has no training and has demonstrated no expertise to dismiss out of hand the meticulous work conducted by tens of thousands of scientists over the centuries. What a colossal dick.

The Onion says it quicker and funnier than I can:

Also. his best friend on the show was named “Boner”. What’s up with that? Seriously.

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