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Family Values Run Amok

October 15, 2009
by

The Morals Jerks Are Having a CowI’m not going to call myself a hero, but the extremes I go to for this blog are nothing short of heroic. To wit: I subscribe to the American Family Association email newsletter.
I freely confess to enjoying precisely the sort of “moral decline” that sends these jerks into a tizzy, but the email I just got is beyond bizarre. Apparently, the cover of the new Playboy features a suggestive picture of Marge Simpson. I’ll admit, I have never found her to be particularly sexy, and this magazine cover doesn’t change my impression.
The AFA email came under the subject line “7 Eleven to sell Marge Simpson issue of PB magazine,” and the content was mostly concerned with 7-11’s decision to sell Playboy after a long hiatus. They didn’t even bother making the point that children might be drawn to the cartoon image on the cover, they seem scandalized that a store would sell a magazine with images of nude women in it.
The email also characterizes Playboy (or “PB”) as pornography, and this is what really caught my attention: apparently the word “pornography” is too hot for these faint-hearted Christians. Every instance of the word “pornography” appears with asterisks replacing the letter “o”.

It has been a long time since 7 Eleven sold p*rn*graphic magazines such as PB and Penthouse. 7 Eleven has been known for many years to be free from selling such explicit materials. Many concerned families have patronized 7 Eleven stores in the past over other stores because of the company’s position not to sell p*rn*graphic materials.
That could change unless enough concerned citizens like you send emails to encourage officials at 7 Eleven to reconsider their plans to sell p*rn again.

What the hell are these people trying to pull? For the life of me, I can’t figure it out. Do they think the letter “o”, when juxtaposed with a word evocative of sex, too closely resembles a female’s bosom? Is it that the word is so powerful that it may cause salacious thoughts unless it’s properly denatured with a star? WHAT THE LIVING FUCK IS GOING ON HERE?

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2 Comments leave one →
  1. David permalink
    October 16, 2009 9:15 am

    Is there a spread of Marge Simpson posing nude in this month’s Playboy or is she just on the cover? I like it better when she wears her hair down.

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