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When All You’ve Got is a Hammer, Everything Looks Like a Nail

October 7, 2009
by

Iran’s atomic ambitions have brought nuclear weapons back in the news.  We spent the entire Cold War creating really powerful weapons, and I am sure you all agree that it’s a total buzzkill not to be able to use them.

In an effort to get in touch with the Is It Luck readership, I have put together a little list of suggestions.  If I have missed any obvious choices, please let me know in the comments.

Moscow: A Bolshevik is a Bolshevik, and there’s nothing we can do to change that. We built our nuclear arsenal to terrify the Ruskies, but they escaped the 20th century scot free.

Tehran: These guys are pretty nutty, and they’re trying to build their own nukes.

The Moon: This freeloading rock has a dark side.  They could be up to anything over there.  And tides are for sissies.

Salt Lake City: Creepy.

Ohio: Would you miss it?  Would anyone?

Jerusalem: People all over the world hate Israel.  What better way to increase our international prestige?

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4 Comments leave one →
  1. David permalink
    October 7, 2009 10:23 am

    Ohio was my suggestion, so I would tally one more vote in that column. Thank you very much. Ohio is flat and crappy. It brings nothing to the table but strip malls and franchise chain restaurants. I say this with a clear conscience despite the fact that I love Chili’s with all of my body, including my pee pee.

  2. David permalink
    October 7, 2009 11:45 am

    I’m also voting early and often for Columbia Heights. What a godforsaken place.

  3. Aaron permalink
    October 7, 2009 3:00 pm

    Jersey.

  4. David permalink
    October 9, 2009 12:18 pm

    And the winner is…Ohio! No, Drew Carey, Cleveland does not, in fact, rock.

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