Dreamers Often Lie
I dreamed I was at a concert in a grimy rock club. The main act was an emaciated Anthony Keidis touring with a bunch of nobodies, but still using the name The Red Hot Chili Peppers. The club had maliciously booked Dave Navarro to open.
During Navarro’s set, Keidis was pacing around in the club in a frenzy. He muttered that this was just a warmup show before the tour actually started, but that “the freakadelic funkulosity” (his words) would rip our faces off nonetheless.
Meanwhile, Navarro was bland. I was mostly amused by Keidis’ pissed off antics, so by the time I was compelled to really pay attention, Navarro was on his last song. It was a midtempo electric reworking of Woody Guthrie’s “The Biggest Thing That Man Had Ever Done”, except Navarro was singing, “This Has Been the Greatest Thing That You Will See Tonight.” Keidis was pissed.
Waiting for the Chili Peppers show to come on, a random guy asked if I’d ever dusted film before. He looked kind of like a young Paul Reubens, had film for cinema projectors, and recognized me as the author of Is It Luck. Wouldn’t say how he knew my face, though. In seconds, I destroyed $300,000 worth of film, burning holes in part and somehow overlapping film from two different movies; he didn’t mind because it was insured.
By then, we’d missed most of the bogus Chili Peppers show, so we popped into the concert. Keidis was on stage, but there was a woman oafishly rapping about Jesus Christ. My new friend and I left to go get some cups of watermelon at a nearby stand. The sun was already coming up, and I said, “the bawdy hand of the dial is now upon the prick of dawn.”
A passerby asked, “Mercutio?”
I said, “sort of.”
And then I woke up.