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Judeo-Christian My Ass

September 17, 2009

The Family Research Council are a bunch of assholes who claim to espouse Judeo-Christian values. Ditto for the groups Focus on the Family, American Values, and the American Family Association.  Funny thing is, these “Judeo”-Christian groups are holding their Values Voter Summit during Rosh Hashanah, one of the Jewish high holidays.  Methinks the “Judeo” in “Judeo-Christian” is lip service to The Tribe.  In fact, these patriarchal, regressive pieces of shit don’t give a fuck about Judaism; they’re biding their time until Jesus sends all the Jews to hell, and hoping to get a few Jewish votes in the interim.

Need proof?  Let’s take a look at the Ten Commandments, a list of rules that Jews and Christians allegedly have in common.  Here’s a few:

– Don’t steal

– Honor your parents

– Don’t lie

– Don’t murder

Anyone who claims that these values are Judeo-Christian is clearly in denial of their universality.  Are these fundies really making the argument that Muslims are cool with parent-hating?  Are Buddhists authorized to murder indiscriminately?  Is Ganesha a shoplifter?  Are Jains notorious liars?  Of course not!  These ethics are no more “Judeo-Christian” than the prohibitions against incest and bestiality.

Ganesha's Famous 20 Finger Discount

And when you get down to the brass tacks, the other commandments aren’t Judeo-Christian either.  Observing the Sabbath is a big fucking deal for Orthodox Jews; for Christians, it’s putting on your Sunday best, going to church, and eating lunch.  Graven images?  Have you ever seen a Jewish depiction of God?  Me neither.  Meanwhile, the whole fucking Renaissance is littered with paintings of God-man Jesus.  As for “you shall have no other gods before me”:  let’s just say that Jews would take issue with trinitarians calling themselves monotheists.  The math doesn’t quite work.

Don’t get me started on covetousness.  We’re capitalists.  It’s our bread and fucking butter.

So, my evangelical fiends, it’s not very hard to see through your bullshit.  Do us all a favor and drop the “Judeo” before we’re all forced to call you out as the insincere losers you are.  We’ve seen The Passion of the Christ; we’ve read the Gospel of John.  As a matter of policy, you really don’t like Jews.  To keep our mouths shut would be a tacit violation of the 9th Commandment.

As a nonbeliever, I am just glad I am not mixed up in all this shit.  I am happy to sit on the sidelines and call out the religious right.  Everything they do sucks, but this bogus ecumenicism is pure sleaze.

With thanks to Aaron, who caught Ganesha shoplifting Nevermind, The Chronic, Are You Experienced, and Red Headed Stranger.  Not pictured: The Chronic 2001, and Giant Steps.

3 Comments leave one →
  1. Aaron permalink
    September 17, 2009 9:31 pm

    Wow… a shout out and everything? I am pleased as punch that this image now exists and can be accessed around the globe. Ganesh, I knew you had killer music taste!

  2. KG2 permalink
    September 23, 2009 7:29 pm

    You sound like someone who keeps the Eucharist in his pocket-pack of Trident gum.

  3. Barry permalink*
    September 23, 2009 7:32 pm

    Well, you sound like someone who doesn’t salivate for the body of christ.

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