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You Lose

August 29, 2009
by

Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?  Or perhaps to my 3rd grade teacher?  Maybe to the guy who is mean about sellling soup to people.  Oh!  I know!  Dentists!  Fucking tooth nazis.  Fuck you, dentists!This is not in direct defense of Barack Obama (pdf) any more than it is in defense of George Bush, Tony Blair, or any other non-homicidal maniac dictator to whom the comparison to Hitler has been made.

Hitler wanted several races of humans to be exterminated. He wanted all Europeans living east of Germany to be slaughtered or enslaved. Even if you think Obama, Bush and Blair are total dicks, you simply can’t argue that their pipe dreams much resemble Hitler’s.

If you are tempted to compare someone to Hitler, invoke the image of the swastika in service of anything other than the National Socialist German Workers’ Party or a neo-Nazi organization, please pause and either:

1. make a thoughtful argument; or,

2. shut the fuck up.

It is especially important that you resist the temptation to affix this mustache

Given how unbelievably cool every other style of mustache is, it's not such a sacrifice to avoid just this one.

onto any portrait upon which it does not originally appear.

This idea has been expressed in different forms before, most famously as Godwin’s Law.  Adhere to it.  Do us all a favor and keep away from Stalin, Mussolini, Ashernasirpol, Genghis Khan, Goliath, and Attila the Hun, too.  Theeeeanks.

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