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Getting Close to Payoff, I Just Know It!

July 4, 2009

This is a pile of cash.  It is precisely what you don't get from winning a fake lottery that you didn't enter in the first place.  A touch of skepticism is in order.

Milton’s getting pissed off, apparently.  I have to say, I feel myself slowly turning into Horngull.  He is so sincere.  He thinks he’s shrewd.  He’s dumb as a post.  Just an all-around good fellow.   I hold out the tiniest bit of hope that he gets his billion Eng Land Dollars and buys his sweet daughter that new artificial hand.

from Milton Horngull
date Sat, Jul 4, 2009 at 11:40 AM
subject Give Now Eng Land Dollars

Wild Paul,

I am happy tell you I receiv email from Amireca FBI. They say you are good man, and you give me my billion Eng Land dollars now. I no more wait for you to send money. If you no release fund to me now, i make you sorry. Below I put release to send to New York Time, Fox NEWS, and The onion news telling them you liar. If you no send me Eng Land dollars NOW, I tell news all about you. You NOT want me send this. YOur reputation suffer welts. Big big big welts.


Partner or enemy,

Milton Caligula Horngull


Dear New York Time, Fox and Onion,

My name Milton Caligula Horngull. One Week or more ago, I get letter in email saing I win a billion Eng Lnad dollars in Lottory. My name picked from 50,000,0000,000,000,000 email addresses to win a Billlin Eng Land Dollars. I told to contact Paul Tapper, lawyer in Eng Land firm Chartland Chambers. I send SEVERAL emails, he no write back or give me money. FBI tell me TAPPER is ok fellow. He STILL no giove me money.

I suffer from daughter with artifishial hand, and rheumy scalp. We poor family need money to live and import horse meats.

Thanks you.

One Comment leave one →
  1. Alek permalink
    July 5, 2009 3:36 pm

    Milton sounds suspiciously like cookie monster. “You NOT want me send this. Ahm, ahm, ahm, ahm, ahm, ahm….”

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