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Sweet Jesus, I Hope They Send the Money in a Bag Like This

June 27, 2009

Brief recap:
1. I get spam saying I won a prize in an English Lottery.
2. I respond thusly.
3. I get another email; this one tells me to contact the “attorney” who will be handling the disbursement of my prize money. This email tells me that I will have to open a bank account with a minimum balance of £540. I fully anticipate a response asking for my credit card info. We’ll see how that goes.

Anyhow – their emails suck. They’re full of typos, ridiculously implausible legal scenarios, and general stupidity. They even sent me to the shitty website of the “law firm“.

Here’s my second email to these dumb dicks:
Date:Fri, Jun 26, 2009 at 10:50 AM
Subject:Lottory Prize

Sweet Mr. Tapper,

I receev email from Smith, Jillian to say I win a billion English Dollars in lottery because my name picked out from 50 million people.

Then Darren Nelson write back to say me to email you. He say you most reliable attorny in Unite Kingdom. I am need billion England Dollars soon to by my daughter new artifishal hand. I am also hope to use money to start horse meat import busness.

PLeas sent it now,

Milton Caligula Horngull

5 Comments leave one →
  1. Dan permalink
    July 1, 2009 10:21 am

    “Chartlands Chambers offers access to the building for wheelchairs via a sloped ramp”

    • Barry permalink*
      July 1, 2009 10:53 am

      My favorite part is the “Family Law” section of the website of a supposedly British law firm. The entire text of their family law page is:

      There is no Common Law marriage in California, no matter how many years you may have cohabitated. There are some civil remedies for those who are separating in such a situation, and a consultation will be required to discuss your options.* *

  2. Dan permalink
    July 1, 2009 11:00 am

    Yeah, I was wondering about the US/UK thing.

    From the criminal law section: “Remember you have Constitutional rights.” which i guess isn’t totally untrue…

    I am disappointed that the atty profiles don’t work.

    • Barry permalink*
      July 1, 2009 11:07 am

      Yeah. It’s too bad. I would love to know more about Paul Tapper. Speaking of which, I have not heard back from that lovable scamp.

      It’s too bad. I was really hoping to be defrauded this week.


  1. Milton Gets Greedy « Is It Luck?

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