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A Very Qualified Endorsement

June 19, 2009

Fuck with NASA?!?! Now that's the last straw!This is a bad idea.

I think that we here at Is It Luck have made clear over the months that we loathe fundamentalist Christianity.  I am not going to lie: a big part of the pleasure I get in advocating for gay rights comes from the knowledge that it drives the Jesus freaks nuts.

I should not be doing this.

I don’t identify myself as Jewish in the religious sense.  While I love lox and kugel as much as the next guy, and I nailed my bar mitzvah readings, I think the Torah is a reprehensible piece of garbage that people should be embarrassed to call “holy”.  Eh.  Let me amend that a bit: from a literary, cultural, and anthropological perspective it’s fascinating.  It just also happens to be fake, misanthropic, and a little too laudatory of a deity who is more likely than not suffering from untreated bipolar disorder to be taken at face value.

This is such a bad idea.

The last bits of background you need are these:

1. I have a sick sense of humor.  The darker and more grotesque, the better.

2. I am a little bit obsessed with fundamentalist Christianity.  I loathe it, but it’s fascinating.  All these people who value mythology more than humanity and revelation more than evidence.  It’s a pathology. Or, it should be.

I should never have started this post.

Ok.  Here’s the thing: I love the Westboro Baptist Church.  I think they embody everything the Bible actually says.  They don’t fuck around with “God is love”; they cut right to the chase and say “God hates fags.”   I don’t like their word choice, but I think they’re right.   I don’t know how to read the Bible and come to a conclusion different from theirs.

The God of the Bible does hate…wait.  I take it back.  I love their word choice.  I love that they use the word “fag.”  It’s entirely in keeping with the personality of a God who would destroy every living thing on the planet -every infant, bunny rabbit, watermelon plant, puppy, and orchid- because he didn’t like how people were acting.  Are we really going to acknowledge such an impulsive Prick to be our Lord and Savior but deny that He’d use the word “fag” if He knew it?

This Guy let Satan kill Job’s family to settle a bet, but we can’t deign to think that He might be a touch unsophisticated?  He ordered His faithful to commit several genocides for Christ’s sake!

So this brings me back to the Westboro Church.  Day in and day out, they’re out there spreading the Good News – you know, “thank God for Dead Soldiers, thank God for Katrina, thank God for 9/11”.  That kind of thing.

Is it any wonder that they’ve finally gotten around to their latest campaign: God hates Jews?  Sure, it’s additionally offensive, but it’s not really more offensive than anything they’ve done thus far.

If you share my gallows humor, you might enjoy a peek around their website where you’ll find gems like:

– Christ Killers let women preach? Now how special is that? WBC needs to remind these apostate Jews of a few basic tenants in the Bible (sic).   Those women need to keep their mouths shut, and their heads covered. Men, take the covering off your heads. While you are doing that, you need to repent of the FACT that you Killed Christ!

– Jews Killed Jesus, deal with it!  You got a problem with WBC telling people what the Bible says on the subject of Jesus Christ, the fact that Jews Killed Jesus and that unless they repent of that crime they can NEVER see the Kingdom of Heaven? Too stinking bad.

– NO Shalom for apostate Jews!  You pretentious Jews are in BIG trouble, and WBC has the duty – job really – to tell you about it. Once upon a time a Messiah came to this world to redeem the elect children. Although it was in FACT needful for him to die on the cross in order to pay that ransom, that does NOT take the responsibility for His death off of the backs of the Jews. Check it out, you lying hypocrites who pretend you can blame Pilate and the Romans who handed the Lord Jesus over to those brutal, fag Roman officers.

– Anshe Sholom Bnai Israel – Spawned Satanic Rahm Emanuel! One thing you have to give that Obama, man, he’s a smart m’er f’er! He took this “Orthodox”, Hebrew speaking, devout Jew and waved some money under his nose. POW! He bought him a Jew.

It goes on and on and on.  Their videos are priceless.  Their signs are cruel and insane.  If you have the stomach for this sort of thing, look around.  It’s hilarious.

Anyhow – for their repulsively riveting hatred of everything, I award the Westboro Baptist Church all available snarling chihuahuas.

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5 Comments leave one →
  1. Aaron permalink
    June 20, 2009 11:23 am

    Great use of “for Christ’s sake!”

  2. David permalink
    June 22, 2009 8:37 pm

    Dude. I love Jewish food. It’s scrum-diddily-umptious.

  3. Internet! permalink
    June 23, 2009 6:22 pm

    Have you ever been to one of those haunted houses where, instead of vampires and Jasons, it’s abortionists and people who listen to Slayer? The one I always see on TV is in Cedar Hill, Texas. It’s called Hell House! It is very hip. Field trip…

    • Barry permalink*
      June 23, 2009 10:11 pm

      I have never been to one, but I have seen a documentary called “Hell House” and the segment of the Richard Dawkins documentary “Root of All Evil” about them. Apparently, there’s one church – maybe in Colorado – that sells the scripts to other evangelical churches around the country. One year, a bunch of actors in Hollywood bought the script and put on a Hell House. They followed the fundie template word for word, but REALLY hammed it up. Sarah Silverman and Jack Black were involved, as were a bunch of other people whose names you’d recognize. It’s funny that the Christian right social agenda was used as a farce.

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