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Very Special

June 5, 2009

Unlike Noah’s ark, laden with its cuddly, paired-off freight, the imprecatory prayers do not suggest themselves as kid-friendly passages of the Bible. While they are technically Psalms, they’re probably better described as “curses”. That’s because they are prayers imploring God to get medieval on people’s asses.

Some examples:

-May his children be fatherless and his wife a widow. (Ps. 109:9)
-O God, break the teeth in their mouths. (Ps. 58:6)
-How blessed will be the one who seizes your infants and dashes them
against the rocks. (Ps. 137:9)

The Good Book is not really that good.

We turn to Wiley Drake. A former muckey-muck in the Southern Baptist Convention, Mr. Drake believes that Dr. Tiller’s murder was God’s affirmative answer to his imprecatory prayer. Drake prayed for the doctor to die. And he was not satisfied to stop there.

Drake’s cruel attention has turned to President Obama. Ostensibly, he reads Psalm 109 with the intention of leaving Sasha and Malia as orphans.

Asked if there are others for whom Drake is praying “imprecatory prayer,” Drake hesitated before answering that there are several. “The usurper that is in the White House is one, B. Hussein Obama,” he said.
Later in the interview, Colmes returned to Drake’s answer to make sure he heard him right.
“Are you praying for his death?” Colmes asked.
“Yes,” Drake replied.
“So you’re praying for the death of the president of the United States?”
“Yes.”

What a dick.

With all this in mind, I have developed a new system of grading fundamentalist assholery. In an earlier post, I compared the religious right to snarling chihuahuas. In keeping with that theme, Is It Luck is proud to present the first ever Chihuahometer! For the outrageous cruelty he has couched in religious terms, Drake has earned a respectable 5 snarling chihuahuas! Congratulations, asshole!

5 Snarling Chihuahuas!  Congratulations, Asshole!

yip yip yip yip yip

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3 Comments leave one →
  1. David permalink
    June 5, 2009 1:40 pm

    Dude. Awesome. Yip. Yip.

  2. Anonymouse permalink
    June 5, 2009 6:25 pm

    Your sleuthery in the book of Pslams is commendable. The mental image of our Lord breaking teeth, and only teeth, while admiring his handiwork is quite humorous.

    • Barry permalink*
      June 5, 2009 6:37 pm

      Thanks for the compliment, but I don’t consider myself much of a sleuth. It’s not terribly taxing of one’s investigatory skills to simply open a book and read what it says. Evil and cruelty aren’t hidden in the Bible, they pervade it. And, hey: if God can create an walking talking evil snake to convince two naifs to sin, He can practice unconventional orthodontics if He chooses.

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