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Update: Poopie Pants

June 3, 2009
by

Matt Barber
Q: How is the religious right similar to a pack of rabid chihuahuas?

A: They’ll turn on you at the drop of a hat and they never shut the fuck up.

According to Cheney, “freedom means freedom for everyone” — and the issue of marriage, he says, should be handled by individual states.

Matt Barber, director of cultural affairs with Liberty Counsel, says Cheney’s love for his lesbian daughter has “clouded his judgment.”

“If freedom to marry means, as he said, that people ought to be free to enter into any kind of union they wish, well then, he’s virtually endorsing polyamory and polygamy, and incestuous marriage, and bestiality,” Barber claims. “[There are] no holds barred here.”

The Liberty Counsel attorney notes that Cheney is even further to the left on the marriage issue than President Obama. Although Obama supports the repeal of the Defense of Marriage Act and advocates for “civil unions,” he opposes same-sex marriage.

Yip yip yip yip yip yip yip yip yip yip yip yip yip yip yip yip yip

Reaching for the Tylenol,

B

PS – I can’t believe I have to say this, but I am not defending Dick Cheney. Fuck him. Let him be torn apart by a pack of rabid chihuahuas (real or metaphorical) for all I care. Just because the prick happens to get one issue right doesn’t mean he’s anywhere close to rehabilitating his image, which is slightly less favorable to the American people than a battery acid enema.

PPS – Why in the world is a group whose mission is at least in part to deny civil liberties to gay people called “Liberty Counsel”? It’s Orwellian doublespeak, Kafkaesque surrealism, and Lewis Carroll-ish nonsense. It’s a Stephen Kingian nightmare, a Dr. Seussist fantasy, and a Tolkienian alternate reality. It’s Larry Flyntish intellectual pornography coming from a Mario Puzonian organized group of thugs. That’s all the authors I know.

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