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Tales From the DC Metro, Part 1: I Must Be Fine ‘Cause My Heart’s Still Beating

May 19, 2009
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Chubby guy in a gray t-shirt. Looks like the runt of the fraternity. I can’t stress enough how tone deaf this guy is when he speaks.

He sits down next to a pretty blonde woman in a green shirt.

“What’s your name?” he asks flatly.

She removes one earbud.

“Do I know you?”

“No, but I’d like to know you.” Or, if he were a normal human being, the “you” would have sounded italicized.

“I don’t think my husband would appreciate that.”

He gets up, hovers awkwardly nearby for 4 more stops, and skulks off to Dupont Circle.

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