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Things Not to Put Salt On

May 4, 2009
by

Bacon
Slugs
Wounds
Condoms*
Things you want to keep frozen
Maps
Pizza

Salt
An eyeball
Coffee
Cake
Skittles

May 6, 2009 Update:
Upon motion from David, seconded by Dan, sea monkeys are hereby added to the list of things not to put salt on. They may, however, still be boiled alive.



*probably

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31 Comments leave one →
  1. David permalink
    May 4, 2009 4:01 pm

    Pizza should not be on the list. Strike it. Lame.

    Long live salted pizza!!

  2. Barry permalink
    May 4, 2009 4:58 pm

    Do you put cream on ice cream?

  3. Kimmy permalink
    May 4, 2009 6:47 pm

    plants. they will die.

  4. Kimmy permalink
    May 4, 2009 6:47 pm

    plants. they will die.

  5. David permalink
    May 4, 2009 8:14 pm

    I don’t want to live in a world where people don’t put salt on their pizza pies.

    If you don’t put salt on pizza, you are one of these:

    http://www.obsessedwithfilm.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/04/freaks-poster.jpg

  6. Barry permalink
    May 4, 2009 8:17 pm

    I am not saying that you must not put salt on pizza; I am just saying you’re stupid if you do. You’re not wrong, David, you’re just an asshole.

  7. David permalink
    May 4, 2009 8:39 pm

    No, you’re stupid.

  8. Dan permalink
    May 5, 2009 3:55 am

    I disagree with #2 and #7 and I am uncertain about #4.

    #3 should be decided on a case by case basis.

    I would replace those with: Beer, my computer and bathing suits.

  9. Barry permalink
    May 5, 2009 4:11 am

    They would make nice additions, but nothing will come off that list. That list represents very hard, very careful consideration of the relevant issues; attempt veto at your own peril.

  10. David permalink
    May 6, 2009 1:51 am

    Seriously take pizza off. I can’t stand it anymore!

  11. David permalink
    May 6, 2009 1:52 am

    Replace it with sea monkeys.

  12. Dan permalink
    May 6, 2009 3:40 pm

    I wouldn’t put salt on a sea monkey.

  13. Dan permalink
    May 6, 2009 3:41 pm

    Have you ever tried salt on pizza? I thought it was gross until I tried it. I immediately converted.

  14. Barry permalink
    May 6, 2009 4:06 pm

    I admire your tenacity, David. I remember having it in high school or college and being disappointed with the outrageous saltiness. I am willing to try it again – at your expense – if you wish.

  15. David permalink
    May 6, 2009 4:16 pm

    I will buy you a slice of pizza if you take it off the list. And apologize.

  16. Barry permalink
    May 6, 2009 4:17 pm

    I will do both IF I am impressed by salty pizza.

  17. David permalink
    May 6, 2009 4:19 pm

    I presented you with a conditional first.

  18. Barry permalink
    May 6, 2009 4:23 pm

    If recanting is a condition of trying it, then I will do neither. I can only be honest.

  19. David permalink
    May 6, 2009 4:37 pm

    Ignorant is more like it.

  20. Dan permalink
    May 6, 2009 10:09 pm

    I just ate pizza at Redrocks. Salted.

  21. Barry permalink
    May 6, 2009 10:17 pm

    Great! Lovely.

    Again, I think you fellows are giving my opinion more weight than it deserves. I am just a guy. Just a guy who doesn’t want salt on his pizza.

    I met you halfway with the sea monkeys. I agreed to try salted pizza at your expense.

    There’s nothing more for me to do.

  22. Kari permalink
    May 6, 2009 10:46 pm

    1. Salted pizza is gross. I had red rocks pizza I find it overly salty and it grosses me out. Salted Pizza = FAIL

    2. If sea monkeys are truly from the sea they shouldn’t mind a little salt.

    3. I may have to disagree with cakes considering you use salt to make them and there is nothing better than a salted caramel frosting.

  23. Dan permalink
    May 9, 2009 12:28 am

    Barry, where are we with this? Have you tried it yet?

  24. Barry permalink
    May 9, 2009 12:40 am

    I have agreed to eat a slice of pizza with salt at someone else’s expense. In exchange, I will be open-minded and reverse my position if I think it’s merited.

  25. John the Skeptic permalink
    May 10, 2009 12:34 am

    A little salt in coffee is an old US Navy custom. And if Navy customs and traditions are guilty, then isn’t this an indictment of the US Navy, and our military institutions in general? I put it to you, Greg – isn’t this an indictment of our entire American society? Well, you can do whatever you want to us, but we’re not going to sit here and listen to you badmouth the United States of America. Gentlemen!

  26. John the Skeptic permalink
    May 10, 2009 12:34 am

    A little salt in coffee is an old US Navy custom. And if Navy customs and traditions are guilty, then isn’t this an indictment of the US Navy, and our military institutions in general? I put it to you, Greg – isn’t this an indictment of our entire American society? Well, you can do whatever you want to us, but we’re not going to sit here and listen to you badmouth the United States of America. Gentlemen!

  27. David permalink
    May 11, 2009 5:35 pm

    Here’s where we are with the salt on pizza debate:

    Barry is still acting foolish.

  28. Dan permalink
    May 26, 2009 11:06 pm

    Let it be known that I went out to dinner, with Barry, at a pizza place, last night. He refused to try salt, arguing that it was conditioned on someone else buying the pizza. I offered to buy his pizza, he refused.

  29. Barry permalink
    May 26, 2009 11:09 pm

    Let it be known that I am not sacrificing 2Amys pizza to your saline idol. Plus, the toppings were already salty.

    I will happily do it with crappy pizza anytime.

  30. David permalink
    May 26, 2009 11:12 pm

    This is crap.

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