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There Ain’t No Limit to the Amount of Trouble Women Bring

April 7, 2009

Ok. Fine. I will admit it: Bob Dylan is a misogynist. After all, he says things like “there ain’t no limit to the amount of trouble women bring.” Clearly, there is a limit to the amount of trouble women bring. It just can’t be quantified. When qualified, woman-generated trouble falls between “pestilential” and “holocaustal”. As you see, there are limits. So Bob is wrong.

Bob Dylan was raised in a Jewish home. So were the assholes who took the following picture of the Israeli cabinet:
and altered it in order to publish this picture:

For whatever reason, these jerks can’t deal with women in positions of power. I don’t really know the reason, and to be honest, I really don’t give a shit. I am sure that it’s somewhere in the Big Book of Jewish Fairy Tales or the Big Book of Jewish Casuistry. As Hunter S. Thompson would say, “Res ipsa loquitur.”

So, now to the real struggle: am I a self-hating Jew? I was raised somewhat-more-than-nominally-Jewish. Though I no longer identify myself as Jewish, I have been impressed many times by the progressive ethics of the Reform movement. However, the Torah is regarded within Reform Judaism as something more than “bird cage lining” and I can’t get behind that. Call me what you will, but those Ultra Orthodox people are fucking jerks.

One Comment leave one →
  1. David permalink
    April 8, 2009 5:13 pm

    I know what you mean about Jewish people sometimes being what I would call, “haters.” I went to lunch last summer at a place called “Eli’s Kosher Deli” with my friend Joe. Neither of us are Jewish, but anybody who knows me, knows I LOVE Jewish food. Corned beef, pastrami, rye, bread, the whole nine. I’m so down with it, it’s not even funny. Really. It’s completely devoid of all humor whatsoever. I am all business when it comes to Jew Food.

    ANYWAY, Joe and I were victims of discrimination at Eli’s! Everyone else at the restaurant was given a plate of amazing looking kosher pickle spears but us. We kept waiting for them to arrive as we saw plates of pickled cucumbers being placed on the tables around us. You know what? Noting. The service was also rude. And I swear they purposely skimped on the portion of potato chips that came with my reuben.

    Aside from leaving us feeling unsatisfied for the especially high price ($14/person), Eli’s left us feeling like WE had done something wrong by merely liking Jewish food and thinking that trying a new restaurant was a good idea.

    What’s the moral of the story? I’m not sure there is one. But the point is, Eli’s Kosher Deli are a bunch of gentile hating slow-jerks who would rather horde their precious pickles that share them with the likes of me.



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