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The Pontiff is a Cretin, or Culture of Life, My Ass

March 17, 2009
by

Dear Pope Benedict XVI,

If you don’t go around talking shit about condoms, I won’t go around talking shit about how absurd it is to think that a cracker turns into a man who is actually the god who sacrificed himself to himself in order to take away our sin so that we can believe in him and do good things in order to avoid eternal torture.

Oh. You blew it already, huh? Oh, Holy Roman Piñata, you’re like clockwork. Well, this is going to hurt me more than it hurts you.

Just kidding.

There are currently 22 million people HIV+ in Sub-Saharan Africa. You have claimed that condom availability won’t solve the crisis. That’s true. You have also said that condoms will aggravate the problem. That’s not just false, it’s so fucking stupid that it could only come out of the mouth of someone who believes that a cracker turns into a man who is actually the god who sacrificed himself to himself in order to take away our sin so that we can believe in him and do good things in order to avoid eternal torture.

Don’t get me wrong, Benedict. I am not just taking cheap shots at a religion whose leadership is composed of a fleet of elderly virgins; I am am passing judgment on an organization that takes the notion of rejecting evidence to heart. It rejects the evidence that a cracker remains a cracker no matter how much you talk to it in much the same way it rejects the evidence that condoms do a great deal to prevent the transmission of HIV.

Let’s make this clear: just because you say that condom use is ineffective, it doesn’t mean that condom use is actually ineffective. It doesn’t really matter how many languages you can speak or whether you can calculate how many angels dance on the head of a pin to 15 decimal places. If you ignore a mountain of evidence in order to promote your dogma, you are ignorant. If doing so results in death, you are wicked. You, the Bishop of Rome, are ignorant and wicked.

Do the people of Africa a favor and shut the fuck up.

No love lost, I’m sure,

B


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