Doubtful. Jesus let a narc into his inner circle, while Ken just lobs wild and indignant accusations at whoever walks by. I’m sure you remember that Ham is the shitslinger-in-chief of Answers in Genesis, America’s premier liars for Jesus and a wicked-to-the core organization.
Days after secular students came to his Creation Museum, he posted photos of their cars online. Ostensibly posted to show the depravity evidenced by their bumper stickers, what I gleaned from the photography was the creepy paranoia that must have motivated the ministry to photograph the cars in the first p
lace.
As I mentioned in an earlier post, Ham is outraged whenever anyone makes reference to the triceratops wearing a saddle that’s on display somewhere in the museum. He points out that it’s not part of the main exhibit and that it’s there for children to take photographs on. Therefore, according to Ham, anyone who makes fun of it is using it as a red herring to distract from the evolutionary paradigm-rattling science on display elsewhere in the museum. Roger Ebert mentioned the saddled triceratops in a recent column comparing New Age kooks on the political left to creationist nuts on the political right. Notwithstanding the strengths and weaknesses of Ebert’s thesis, Ham just can’t take it when that triceratops is used to symbolize the intellectual debasement of his entire worldview (although, Ham is quick to point out that the triceratops is in debasement of de museum. Tap, tap tap…this thing on?)
It’s not a part of our dino exhibit at all—it’s a photo op found at the end of the museum where parents can take pictures of their children riding a small Triceratops. For this famed film critic to use this in the way he has to malign the quality and seriousness of the museum’s exhibits shows a total ignorance of the real situation—it is obviously meant to deliberately mislead people and undermine our integrity.
Undermine their integrity? Ha! What Ham doesn’t mention is that steps away from his novelty dinosaur, visitors to his museum can find humans and dinosaurs frolicking together on display in the main exhibits. He seems to believe that what people object to is the saddle itself, and not the outrageously stupid contention that humans and dinosaurs coexisted. The triceratops makes a nice symbol for the intellectual depravity of the whole museum, but Ham refuses to acknowledge this, instead claiming to be victimized by each repeated reference to the saddled dinosaur.
It seems that conversation about the enormous shortcomings of his worldview are over Ken Ham’s head. Perhaps he should stick to photographing bumper stickers.
So Meredith Baxter came out as a lesbian on the “Today Show.” I don’t care about her or “Family Ties” to any great extent, but I have to voice my opinion that this belongs in the lanky column of Things That Don’t Help.
Like most people I would give half a sandwich to, I am disappointed again in America’s refusal to accept the gays, most recently evident in the New York gay-marriage votedown. But I propose that perhaps part of the problem is that one’s homosexuality is something worth announcing on a major network talk show.
As useful as it may seem to use a forum like the “Today Show,” which by any account is pablum for the sort of people who have no desire to be plugged into the real world, to parade around an instance of homosexual out-coming, the fact is that the more it is framed as a special, singular occasion, the more it resembles an alien abduction or any number of other retarded things that these people focus on as exceptions to the rule of everyday sameness.
There is nothing special about being gay. That’s why gay people don’t deserve special treatment. In the case of our society, “special treatment” is manifest in unequality, but that doesn’t make it any less special. Special means exceptional, different, and gay people are still, in this black-president-electin’ hodgepodge of a democracy, excepted rather than accepted.
In order for acceptance to occur, we have to take all of the shock value away from facts. In 1948, just a few years after we took arms in a battle that at least can be extrapolated as in the interest of homosexuals (and intellectuals, and other -ectuals), Kinsey’s “Sexual Behavior in the Human Male” presented the fruit of tireless research showing that a goodly number of us didn’t mind the feel, touch, and taste of our own genitalia as much as we thought. That was fucking 51 years ago.
It’s astonishing to me that we haven’t gotten any braver. Or that bravery can be construed as one celebrity taking selfish advantage of the false notion that their position is somehow marginal, and that they are somehow helping other marginal people.
Homosexuals are not marginal, which is why it’s so very wrong to confine them to the margins of society. But the only solution is to make the acceptance of them the opposite of a big deal; yes, it’s crucial to having an evolved society, and yes, it’s impossible to deny them basic rights and still lay claim to the greatest city on Earth being in your state. Remember, though, that Barack Obama didn’t have to go on the “Today Show” and come out as black. He just went ahead and became president. And that’s good marketing, on a very local level that I believe precedes the national level in significance. A fundamental acceptance. Folks, I think there might well be as many gay Americans as black ones, so let’s stop treating them like aliens — remember how much better things got when we stopped doing that with those people we enslaved?
A lot better.
love,
i
Correction
A Nov. 26 article in the District edition of Local Living incorrectly said a Public Enemy song declared 9/11 a joke. The song refers to 911, the emergency phone number.
Thanks to Alexis for the scoop.
It’s been a while since I have written a spambaiting email. This one came as a response to a cute little house for rent on DC’s Craig’s List. The person who placed the ad is “out of the country” on “missionary work”. Given that the text (other than the address of the cute little house) is an identical match to a Craig’s List ad my friend responded to when he moved to Texas, I have no qualms about a little double-barreled Horngulling.
From: sandwichface62<at>gmail.com
My dear crusader,
It brings me great pleasure to hear that you are in London on a prayer crusade. I would like to rent your wonderful home in Washington, DC; I am happy to know that I will be transacting with such a trustworthy Christian as yourself.
Just to let you know a little bit about me: I am a bigshot doctor with many surviving patients. My malpractice premiums are quite low, and I can furnish copies if you need proof. While my training was in the juvenation of mangled islets of Langerhans and other pancreatic catastrophes, I have made a name for myself in two other ways.
First, I hold four patents for my contribution to the development of LASIK@HOME, the first ever do-it-yourself laser eye surgery equipment. You can see this miraculous device here: http://www.lasikathome.com/*
Second, I won 3 Utah Music Awards for my contralto saxophone playing on albums by Huey Lewis, Los Lobos, and Panic! At the Disco. My other hobby is building models of turn of the century steam-kites.
Because I have been blessed enough to make a shitload of money on the eye laser thing, I would be willing to make a contribution to your Christian missionary work in London, as well as rent the house you have posted on Craig’s List.
Please get back to me with details NOW.
Your Pal,
Milton Søren Horngull
*Note: You should absolutely visit the LASIK@HOME site. It’s fucking hilarious. -B
The Bible states that its believers will be scoffed at and mocked. For Christians, this reaffirms their belief; it is yet another prediction come true, another tool to separate themselves from the world of infidels.
I take this passage to be unusually perceptive: if you buy the garbage in the Good Book, you’re damn right I am going to laugh at you. Nothing magical about that.
Enter Kirk Cameron. He is an evolution denier. Rather than submitting his ego to the reality that we are extraordinarily lucky to have emerged by naturalistic processes from a universe that wishes us neither good nor ill, he insists that homo sapiens is the species made in the image of a loving God.
I mention Kirk’s ego for a particular reason; his belief that humans hold a divinely-sanctioned place of privilege is bad enough, but in order to maintain this chauvinistic position, Cameron must characterize the entire field of biology as bullshit. A man whose credentials are “was a child star” and “has read the Bible” believes that he knows enough about a field in which he has no training and has demonstrated no expertise to dismiss out of hand the meticulous work conducted by tens of thousands of scientists over the centuries. What a colossal dick.
The Onion says it quicker and funnier than I can:
Also. his best friend on the show was named “Boner”. What’s up with that? Seriously.
When Howard Stern is the Voice of Rationality and Moderation, You Know the Other Guy’s a Mess
This is the first of a 3-part clip from Stern’s show. His victim is Kirk Cameron, former child star and current fundamentalist dick. Stern doesn’t come at the issue as a culture warrior. Rather, he’s annoyed by an actor who imagines himself to be persecuted, disregards the Constitution, and thinks he’s smarter than Charles Darwin.
In another setback for civil rights in the land of the free, the State Senate of New York has decided that homosexuals deserve to be disenfranchised from the institution of marriage.
Update: It occurs to me that the whole issue is probably just one of squeamishness over dudes Frenching. Maybe if the gays just agree not to kiss…
These iKitchen fuckers pervert the idea of commerce, choosing to profit from lies, not business activities. Again, I do not advocate any violent acts against the people or property of iKitchen.com, but I wouldn’t be sad to hear that everyone affiliated with the iKitchen scam had necrotizing fasciitis, scrofula, or pancreatic cancer.
Here is a list of online resources that agree with me that iKitchen is a piece of shit scam, maintained by dirtbags whose eyes should be devoured by syphilitic maggots*.
Avoid iKitchen.com
Do Not Order From iKitchen.com
WARNING! iKitchen.com
iKitchen.com Complaints – Scam and Fraud
Ripoff Report – iKitchen
Clearly, I am not first victim of the shitbags at iKitchen.com. I hope to be the last, but slime bags like these iKitchen.com fuckers always manage to slither on to new types of malfeasance.
* I paraphrased the part about the maggots.
UPDATE: I am 99% sure that iKitchen.com was responsible for the attacks of September 11, 2001. There is also some evidence that iKitchen.com introduced both crack cocaine and the human immunodeficiency virus into American cities.
There are less-substantiated – but still promising – leads that the parent company of iKitchen.com was a major contractor responsible for the construction of the Birkenau and Sobibor concentration camps.
Even if evidence shows that iKitchen.com was not complicit – or more likely, only tangentially complicit – in the abovementioned atrocities, it is beyond dispute that it is a complete scam, a website designed to defraud hardworking American consumers. This rank lack of patriotism, even as America fights two major wars, may be treasonous and punishable by death.
